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interlude 5 – mountain of dreams

I sometimes get so caught up in my head.

I’ve always been someone who just gets shit done. Who finds a way to make something work or power through to fix something, even if that does occasionally come across like a bull in a china shop, occasionally. I have grit and determination once I put my mind towards achieving something.

face plant the base of a mountain

And while that’s great in theory, it often leaves me feeling so incredibly overwhelmed. I set these huge expectations of myself that it can feel like I face plant into the base of the mountain rather than going for a Sunday stroll up a hill.

I don’t like sharing. Scared that this idea that seems so wonderful and powerful in my mind will seem pathetic and stupid to someone else. Fearful that someone may challenge why I want to do it in the first place and I’ll have no better response than, “it seemed like a good idea”. Petrified that someone will call bullshit on me for not having the experience, skills or knowledge necessary for achieving said goal. And that mountain peak will come crashing down on me in one fell avalanche. Scared that I’ll get found out for being a dreamer. Heaven forbid.

one fell avalanche

I don’t ask for help. Sure, I’m a bit of a control freak, (what A-type isn’t?!) and if it doesn’t look IRL how it does in my mind, the only person I want to be able to blame is myself. But ultimately, it was my idea so why would I expect anyone else to put their time and resources into something to help make my dreams come true?!

I don’t want to feel exposed. By keeping everything inside and to myself, I can’t really ever fail because no-one else knew it was ever supposed to happen. I’m not letting anyone down by not making it. I’m not disappointing those people who believed in me. I’ll just quietly slip away and on to the next thing, or maybe back to the thing I was doing before this bright idea.

But slowly, I’m understanding that the more I share, the more I am lifted up. I have people ready to give me a boost should I need it, I have friendly faces at the top of the mountain pulling me up to my goals and dreams. This might be my mountain, but I don’t have to be on it alone all of the time.

friendly faces at the top

The power of sharing brings us out of our heads and into the real world. The expression ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ doesn’t exist for no reason, you know.

So the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed and alone, reach out. I’m here to cheer you on, to give you a leg up. If you have the slightest inkling that it’s worth doing, I have no doubt that you will achieve it. If you can imagine it, you can live it. It’ll just take time, courage and as The Beatle’s would say, a little help from our friends.

Because life is for living in the real world.

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